A rebel without a clue.

Forgetting names: Names of people I rarely see. Is there a finite memory bank for names of people who I don't think of for most of the time? Rory.  So what is the Glastonbury Fesy about in the 21st century? Is it just another place for the commonplace to get commoner? Or is a place to still find the outliers it must've once been ... Have you ever walked down Glastonbury high street and seen how phony it is? I have, twice, and it's plain pointless. Obviously this is where all the leylines intersect... Somewhere totally banal and bland. Perhaps the universe and it's creator are very boring drab and obsessed by crystals... The world I inhabit is getting louder and louder. For instance there is a person talking to another person on the bus and another person has text alerts switches on. And in the flat yesterday I had the sounds of sirens, alarms, reversing signals, the dismantling of scaffolding, bird song, hard dance music played by the operatives working on the flat, har...

An evening of firsts and lasts. Came along to the War on Drugs concert at the Piece Hall, in Halifax, with Nick (as he thought I'd like it)? On another occasion it would be interesting to view the hall and also the part of Halifax we came through in the taxi, wiith its large 'Stray-like' common and the Georgian/Victorian houses pouring down into the Calder valley and into the focal point of the minster and hall. But the sheer number of people in the venue for the 'gig', and the rigid security which I have no experience of previously, as all my live music visits were in another era, more than a decade ago, when the threat of acts of violence weren't a constant fear. So I went and got Nick his drinks during the first few songs, and kept trying to locate him amongst the throng - which I eventually did in my head when knew where he was on relation to the others in his sector. As the music got louder, and the crowd were screaming their joy, I saw that Nick has a true...

All I can smell is fish being cooked somewhere this morning. I am sure my flat doesn't smell like fish! Over sensitive! This morning I've turned my attention (that's laughable) to filling in the ADHD questionnaire which I found on my doorstep last night, after I had stumbled in a sleep haze from the long day journeying back from the way between Arras and Rouen in Amiens, which I need never visit again? Next time I fly to Beauvais it will be to head West, from Rouen, on, hopefully, a better (accommodation and distance) part of the Chemin Mont-Saint-Michel. Back ten minutes and I am on the defensive and attack constantly, but I keep observing myself doing it which is good? It's West Yorkshire?

Where it all began. The airport. A brief visit to Compiegne for lunch as it's only €1 each way on the local bus network. Was going to head for a Coq Hardi at Café Les Halles, opposite to where the Marche is in Beauvais is held, but on a Monday it is closed so walked up to the airport, picking up a fresh Tradi baguette, and now sit waiting for the time to pass before back to Leeds. People whittering in which ever language they use to whitter and I had to have a beer before I explode. Cheapest option was way too expensive 1664. The bar on T2 is almost €12 a pint. The exclusivity of airports and the profiteering which goes on beggars belief! I will manage on just the baguette, and perhaps the sardines in the tin I've had since the first day, but it's just boredom which does it - eating. Something to distract me from a few hours facing the back of someone's seat and seeing if any of the aircrew are actually nice... ... I have not seen a soul for days now every fucker is goi...

A great night's sleep. Meandering along the towpath, and through the Les Hortillonnages, towards the Quai Belu where I was last Friday ready to clock out.  The same disinterested service, from the millennials running Green Corner, meant I followed my feet onwards after two 25cls. Found the Airbnb soon after, close to to Eglise Saint-Jacques, which is a bit like an unattended hostel (as it had four rooms, and communal facilities) leaving Sunday opiated faces for a deep shower and a rapid clothes wash. I was in Lalaland with a thunderstorm coming and going overhead before nine. Eight days walking from Saturday until Sunday, Friday the day off to head to Arras from Rouen. Next time, enroute to Mont-Saint-Michel, it's Rouen West? This time I forgot my credentials for staying in pilgrim digs so had a few issues around accommodation. But once I discovered Airbnb can be paid with using PayPal I was laughing. Hotels and Chambre D'hotes are too expensive, with inflation the way it i...

Rain and mosquitoes Drunk angler at the 35 kilometres stage moves me forward for another 3.5. Beer at the rural arts cafe/bar And a large ramkin of GORP To keep me going. And I really must smell. Me, the bag and the clothes. Even the bum bag Like a vagrant Or a tramp. There is a washing machine at the end of the way Today. God she's gorgeous! Jardin, canal, la Somme!

Albert famous for being central to years of mass suicide in the form of ww1. War is chosen. All the many reasons mean there was simply no reason: I received a 1st at university for the essay which I presented, complete and consistent throughout, on the causes of Great War (only one of two - the other related to Dickens and his portrayal of London during his lifespan) I argued all the causes were excuses used in hindsight to justify the simple idiotic gallantry of the opening days of the war, which would be over by Christmas, but just became dirtier and dirtier(with cavalry charge against machine gun and heavy field artillery) until a stalemate was reached in the race to the channel! And then so many pointless attempts were made to breakout of the web spun by both sides to the advantage of neither that, by the end, all nations were on the brink of revolution/civil war/starvation/chaos ... It was such a meaningless waste of lives human, bovine, porcine, equine, canine and the billions of...

Passing Arras in 2014 and 2016 there was only one place selling 'craft' or 'artisanale' beer and now 7 years later it's everywhere! Did a silent Saturday morning tour of both place  prior to the café opening for two coffees and a croissant. Then picked up two saucisson poulet  from the rotisserie truck which is ubiquitous at French town centre street Marché before leaving Arras south passed the Citadel. Claustrophobia, panic attack and an asthma attack too. All in the same overwhelming bar surrounded by meaningless English Somme memorial visitors. It took me a lot of effort to overcome the tension and to relax. When I finally found the Airbnb: first walking to one end of town the correct way before receiving a welcome message with 27 Rue General LeClerc, not 27 Rue General Faidherbe as in Airbnb, and dying from lack of air through my windpipe and almost becoming heavily soiled in the trouser area, and finally putting the code on the door to think it wasn't openi...

Piétons and Deviations... Arras 8 years forward! Do I know dislike it. The war is well over? This heat is ceaseless and it's Friday. 7 days straight of high twenties. I am bewildered. And I am considering Vimy Ridge in the morning! *** Arras feels entirely different, but last time I was here was autumn or winter, and it was damp, Place Les Heros didn't feel to be surrounded by restaurants and bars on all four sides. I didn't spend time in Le Grand Place before, but that is the same on its four arcaded sides. So right sides of food or drink. As I sat in the bar looking at the Hôtel d'Ville those years ago I felt special as I was about to head to Peronne, on the section of Via Francigena I did between Canterbury and it. The previous time I was looking at the battle sites, the Grande Mine from the first morning of the Somme Battle 1916 and the Thiepval memorial, where I found a Charles Sherburn as fallen at that battle. Part of the 100 years anniversary. But now? 2023 and ...

But I wasn't. Drunk I mean. Didn't get to Rouen centre until nearly 7 and turned in at 10. Slept almost entirely until 6... There was a bit of background chatter and the bass sound from the oldest discotheque in France just 10 metres further on from my petit room on the ground floor. As I opened the window the road sweeper was doing his essential work to keep Rouen looking 'clean'. Such a fallacy. Having walked in to Paris through St Denis and Serselles cleanliness only stretches to what a tourist might perceive. I have this problem in LS7. Just over Clay Pit Lane Leeds is squeaky clean, but as you hit 'council estates' it's mountains of detritus where mowing the grass includes all the plastic which lies buried waste deep... After so many days on the move I miscounted the amount of time it took me to reach Rouen from Amiens. Yesterday morning I thought 5, but as I sat opposite Melody in the Taverne Saint Amant, I shouted 'its six'. My original quest ...

Bingo Bongo. As I follow the northern flowing, counterwise, of La Saâne, I leave an Auberge with a stomach full to its limited capacity with a proper Menu le Jour - the first full meal of the way I am walking. Lots of calories after 5 hours in increasing heat and humidity, with no idea where I am going (except towards La Seine)? The cows are spread out on the ground, where it is cooler, and I think I've another 3 hours heading towards that well known, and often eulogized, La Seine.

After the best repas last night I slept completely until just gone five and looked outside to a misty morning: opening the windows there was a welcome, but cold, breeze. Suddenly the temperature has dropped to June perfect and I've booked a flight back tomorrow! If only €200 could stretch until Monday I know I could continue. The damaged left foot is getting less swollen and less immovable, the coastline is beautiful: if there is such a truth? Monet painted along the coastline here so there must be something about the light? If I dip further in to debts, which I am meant to clear come September (and my main Camino experience after school holidays), it will mean I have this concern on top of the many trillions of other seeming nothings in my mind, ruminating. Funny thing is I haven't been asked to dog sit Archie yet, which is probably just the fact Iskara and David are exceptionally busy all the time, so I can't rely on the potential help to clear the outstanding prior to Se...

Thought I heard bagpipes and then I realised it was true just as whoever it was hit some bum notes, but I was welcomed in to Quiberville like a lost comrade: another of the 1942 beaches where many lost their lives for no gain? Laying below the canopy of a broad leaved tree I have a place at the Chambre D'hotes Le Castle d'Vergers while it is being made ready. €65 bed, breakfast and repas this evening. Definitely worth the effort up and down the valleuses for 25kms as a fly bites my knee cap and worms work inwards on my underside! Insects seldom wait until you are dead to take you off to the next realm? *** Showered and out for the count for two hours. No one around so I creep back to the centre along the plage to a refreshing beer. I had another Entrecôte for lunch. It cost less than yesterday, but it all eats up my funds: it's good protein though. If I decide enough is enough there is a cheap flight back from Beauvais on Friday. It's all about money. Inflation etc. Act...

How does the story end? Happily ever after or with the death of all the main characters? With a whimper or a bang? *** OK so now I am hesitating about going to Sussex. Traveling through London, etc, will wipe me out. But so will France? And I do still have a ticket back to Leeds which misses out the fuss of the UK for just a few days... Looks like now I've hit the coast and I don't know the West (Caux) of Normandy so I am going left and not right to the same ferry terminal I've passed through once before! *** All of life's dross is passing by into Dieppe, ready to be in the same positions they occupied yesterday, waiting the same ferry passengers who sit and stare at the dross without seeing the mirror they are reflected in. I sit awaiting the happy beads. I've not had the moment of extreme contentment: perhaps wheat fields, rapeseed fields or flaxseed fields can only inspire so much in their monotony? Cafe des Voyageurs where no one looks to have gone very far for ...

Straight ahead morning towards Neufchâtel en Bray, where I think I may struggle to get a reasonably priced bed for the evening, even if one is available in this tourist town. Normandy definitely is geared towards gastronomy and hospitality. It's beautiful, but not a million miles off Sussex or Kent in feeling and look... As I am heading north now, and not to Rouen, I wonder if I shouldn't head over the channel in the morning? Call it a day? Ideally walking to Dieppe Wednesday and Thursday before the ferry on Friday morning would conclude this unusual few days walking during a heatwave... There are buses, but not until 5pm and at 13:45 I'd just be drunk, and probably miss the bus. So auto-stop? ... Yes. I hitched. If I was younger, and spoke better French, the girl who was going home from LeClerc towards Dieppe and who dropped me on the harbour side, would've had made us very happy. But she stopped to take me forward and didn't need to take me all the way, I was prep...

Thoroughly exhausted today. Unlike me to feel defeated by something when walking, but the relentless warmth is difficult. Last year I had a similar experience coming down to Deltebre in Catalonia - that was along the coast line so there was always a coastal breeze, but this time the sun beats down and the humidity increases. It's all too much? I think I had a little heat stroke last evening. I decided to take the hotel up on demi-pension and could only manage two of the three courses. I think I was gone to sleep before my head hit the pillow? But it was extremely warm in the room so I woke some time later with a slight headache. It went with a little water, but now, as I face breakfast, I don't feel like getting all my stuff together and walking too far to God knows where in 28 plus heat and complementary humidity... It's northern France in early June... Had a proper cleanse. Hotels which have baths shouldn't be ignored? The breakfast was good and I feel semi normal - f...

Feeling like I couldn't manage another morsel - not even a wafer thin mint - so is it always rude to ask them not to give you a dessert? Could I please take it with me tomorrow if refusal is disgusting? 

A mighty thunder storm overhead during the night. Slept peacefully until then. Around 7pm ate the fayre provided by the sœurs, then directly after returning the tray with used plates, cutlery etc. Retired. Sober since Friday. Hopefully this will be a proper clear-headed day along the way? The thunderstorm may have reduced the lunchtime temperature? Along with the chirping of birds I have the mighty call of a peacock as the elderly sœur opens up the eglise. All packed and ready for day three. This time I have come away to remember a before the evil of the previous few years where I have turned to alcohol as a substitute for reality. It's untruthfulness has corrupted me. I await now petit dejeuner. They gave me vinegar for the stings I'd received on my shins, walking a fair distance through talk grass, nettles, brambles, etc, as I stumbled into Feuquieres around 4pm.  Confronted by impenetrable rapeseed six feet high, where there should be a path, I decided to plunge through and ...

Flaxseed and coughing up the dust which I imagine I inhailed from the last remnants of the walnuts in the bag? Up from one river valley to the pasture and chasing bullocks, heifers and protective mothers. Down towards Grandvilliers and the end of today? Never! In Grandvilliers nothing was grand, but I grabbed another Turkish Kebab, and I think this Assette Mixte was better. The salad was fresher, the sausage was more meaty. But two kebabs in two days! At least I aren't as exhausted today as I was Saturday. This evening I am staying in an out building once more next to a small nun/sisters home. And I know I have found a Camino rhythm. Only in France. At first I tried the zed-bed and I think I could just about manage it, although it's narrow. Then I took the large cushions off the sofa - they looked grand but they sloped to the right and there were two terrible ridges: then I thought I could cope with the Zed-bed, but just then the Sœurs came to take away my passport and saw the ...

Awake quite naturally at 6am, French time, the dawn chorus below me. The chirping of the sparrows in the hedge and the hoots of the geese in their penned enclosure. Have discovered a few bites from yesterday. Walking through forests these things happen? Was mentally and physically exhausted this most of yesterday afternoon/evening but found sleeping surrounded by the noises of nature difficult, however by 9 all was pretty quiet and I was in and out of snoozing. After closing the window and drawing the curtains that was it. Pitch black until the moon lite the way to the toilet once during the evening. Another day going God only knows where and with what fortune? I don't mind and I have no choice but to keep putting one foot in front of the other? On El Camino one must surrender to it ...

Ouch... Forgot that those steps were very steep in the terraced house and very nearly ended up in Urgencies, once more, as I saw myself as a pile of broken limbs at the bottom on the first floor. Luckily, or unluckily, I am now walking 30kms with a busted left foot. To stop myself falling I flung myself against the wall and collided with the step and my left foot - the one which is already very painful! Mainly walking on roads through suburbia until one park prior to the underpass below the main road to Rouen and then I am in the countryside. There is a feeder stream Selle by my left side, but I am still on the road. Cuckoos in the woods and fields of ripening wheat to my right. Left foot sore, but ok - for now! ... I could go no further. As I approached Conty the restaurant on the left was closed so I had to continue onto the crossroads into the village and hope the Auberge was stil serving food. After stumbling passed a Turkish kebab place I quickly retraced my tracks and went inside...

A long day. Topped off by 30+ temperature. Just in time for happy hour at la Green Corner - the same place I came to last July, when the temperature was closer to 40°C. The Airbnb looks like student accommodation with a couple in the room below me. There is some fête going on in the Parc Saint-Pierre and the room faces that direction, and I reckon they're heading there later, but no worries. Just a half priced pint and back to a second shower? There is a market from 7am along the quayside and I must walk before it gets too warm in the afternoon? 30°C by 4pm. 

Heading out of the flat to begin the day getting to Amiens and first stop Sainsbury's for a can of CBD. But they've run out. Second port of call Pret a Manger on Albion Place, but, for some annoying reason, they've changed the playlist to generic 1980s pop from the interesting eclectic mix of previous times. So I will never go to another Pret unless I get sound cancelling headphones? Whitney fucking Huston... The new pair of Mountain Equipment shorts are great, but the drawstring is woefully short so I can't actually fasten them up! Leeds BID operatives - street rangers - are discussing a dead pigeon - fried pigeon. Thick as a brick. I am over sensitive this morning and was crying over the phone, as I spoke to mother, as I was worried I might never see Lola again. She's wonderful! Yesterday she had a lovely time running in the wheat and barley grass fields, with Ruby up alongside the copse, but came out with a bloody nick on her right paw. She seemed unconcerned abo...

The morning of the PIP assessment and I am chilling. No heavy session last night, I sat in the sun up on the roof terrace at Belgrave, but got back to the flat at 6, ate 5 dates, washed all my bath linen towels, mats, flannels, dressing gown, etc on a 60°C wash and then slept until 5, rolled over until 5:45am, made a three scoop coffee and then made the base for my breakfast. Next stage will be a bath, before I vacuum up the flat? Back to finish off breakfast, three eggs, a spoonful of Za'atar on each, three toasted Warburton's slices, olive oil and the slow pan fried leak, red onion, brown onion, spring onion and garlic reduction. It is quite nice to have a slow unhurried start to the day? Often I am hurrying to get to Wetherby, because I feel responsible, on either the X98 or X99, even though I get no sense that I am appreciated, needed or even wanted there ... ... All girls ever seem to do is complain about another person, usually another girl, who isn't present. I went ...

Very quiet Sunday and slept well until gone six this morning. With a warm cup of black coffee in my left hand and the patio doors opened upon the heightening sun the crows discuss the morning and sparrows of the hedgerows chirp a chorus too. The murmur of the A1(M), consistent alongside Wetherby always heard and always remembered displacing folks from their beds towards box B... The current of humanity above and outside, but inner and within; ubiquitous. Yesterday I handed over my CV for the first time since 2014. Hastily altered by removing the long list of employment statistics from 1995 until YHA in 2007. So I didn't exist before 2007 and then again after Yo Sushi! and Mosaic Fulfillment Solutions in 2013. A long time for no-being. Trying to connect, but rarely doing so. Sainsbury's: I only ever shop in Sainsbury's because it's got a lighter feel than any of the other big 3. I hesitate to enter Morrisons in Wetherby with the continual intense noises: music, people, a...

Market day in Wetherby - a day I need to avoid the legions of slow footed octogenarians so back to Leeds on the no 7; no hanging around for the X98. Spent an hour or so watering the allotment first thing, then had a plate of beans on toast before Lola and I went down to the Wilderness car park, under the two A1 bridges(old and semi-new) then back along the side of the A1, passed the bottom of the race course and back down York Road, she joined me for a wee cuddle before returning below so I could have a full hour meditating. Still feeling a little flat since being exhausted yesterday, but perhaps not as abysmally depressed as I was first thing this morning! But the number 7 is full. And late so the X98 it is...