A rebel without a clue.

For the first time in ages I actually don't know what I am doing. Doing here in Portugal on a road to nowhere... Walking through the resort strewn shoreline, following the Ria Formosa to it's destiny. Passing between a giant of a manicured golf course to a town sat on the west side of the Guadiana river dissecting Iberia into The Algarve Portugal and Andalusia Spain. Yesterday was a none day. The previous day was a none day. I've felt less than zero since the argument with my mother, which appears to have broken something which can't be fixed ... And whatever I ate yesterday (cheese I think) was not good - it wasn't cold from the fridge so might've been at ambient temperature for a long time. Where do I go from here? East into Spain and the unknown (Like when I got off the bus at the Mexican/Guatamalan border and walked into the unknown)? I absolutely have no idea what the area around Seville/Huelva/Cadiz is like. I am the borderland with Spain... I don't kn...

There is always the same "essential" work being done by the night guy. Cleaning the floors. Outside in the corridor, next to the door (with its gap between it and the room I try to sleep in) and it's just gone 5am and I am a bit cold in bed too. Tiled rooms keep very little warmth. Thankfully I've a duvet and I can put on some clothes too. But now, at 5:30am I am pretty well awake. Yesterday was a long day. From yawning awake at 6am until I floated away on the lullaby being played on the honky-tonk piano by the good pianist. There were a group of three girls. I applauded one tune, when I passed by on the way to one of many toilet breaks(having drunk around 3 litres since the flight) and thought I had recognised another by Wim Mertens who is someone I'd stumbled upon during another period of my life. Mum has suggested I reflect upon the situation betwixt us. That's all I ever do. In the last year I've begun to see that I am the elephant in the room. No one ...