The Ghost part 19 (Champion the Wonder Horse)
No idea what was happening on Monday to make me feel so panicked. I told Matt at North I was sinking into bad depression. There is numerous separate problems that spread from Monday to Friday that are pushing me closer to alcohol oblivion at the weekend. A job, a calm peaceful flat, something else in leeds, money and some mental relief. Took to bed at 11:30 last night having taken beta blockers and Kalms. Unwound until around 12:30, but even with ear plugs in could hear the various sounds of this deafening abode. Laid turning over and over unable to turn off. Fear was in my head. However he returned along around 12:30 alone. Still I turned and rolled in a heightened state. My arms ached and pulsated. I couldn't relax them. Must've slept at 2 or 2:30am. Then awoke at 6am and I am in the hazy post drugged sleep deprived state. I feel nothing except my body is stretching and yawning and wanting to return to sleep. My earliest clear memory is being in an ill state. We lived u...