A rebel without a clue.

Tired this afternoon. Drifted away from the way into anxious waters ... Wondering how far to go, looking at the phone for answers, scratching the same scab I've had since July 2022. Please leave it alone hands. I am almost unconscious of the action; almost. Eucalyptus plantations remind me of the morning coming into Santiago back in 2013: quick growing, but easy burning, a paper crop. And also passing the colossal Aviator paper manufacturer near Figueira do Foz December 2021. At the road side eatery, where the host gave me the food gratis, he asked me to reach Santiago for him and his family as he couldn't make the journey: that was at the back of another wet wet day. This one got this way after lunch. O Canto das Rosas, N109. This man. Such kindness. In three days I will reach Santiago for him, at least ... If not for myself? 16th December 2020: I must return to Figueira do Foz to continue towards Porto, that way to Santiago? It's in the possible futures. A sho...

I had a day off the journal yesterday. Not that I hadn't plenty to consider, but I was busy with the visual effects of the day as I approached Portomarin, checked into a private albergue, with a fully functional kitchen, ate a lovely lunch, made a lovely dinner. Drank some wine, etc. Awoke at 2pm. Had an hour of struggling to get back to sleep wondering if I need to start examining my life? The unexamined life isn't worth much. This Camino is the one where answers are to be revealed and I definitely saw hints of serendipitous ponderousness happening after I stopped for coffee and cake mid morning... Those pump clips. The second time I cried tears of joy and happiness... Because I see things I don't see elsewhere: where I have peak experiences which fill me with hope, I keep going. But they are vanishingly Illusive/allusive as l sit down for yet another cup of coffee, orange juice and aceite y tomate this morning .... Such pathos. Ten years ago I bega...