A rebel without a clue.

If only I knew how to break out of this persona I have become. I know it follows some very repetitively bland pulses and rhythms. Everyday seems to be about getting up just to get back into bed again that same day or even in a wider scope just like living each day just towards some final longed for moment. This isn’t good I can see that, but why can’t I shrug off that feeling and the demented persistent bashing of my head I currently maintain? I follow the same never ending paths that actually lead me nowhere. I will get up tomorrow walk the dog, get on the bus, get to the flat in Leeds, change clothes, take my pills, look at the mess in the living room, feel the coldness of the emptiness of the flat, smell the fetid and rank stale odours, etc. To find there aren’t any jobs but there is yet more manufactured bad news; then I'll haul back to Wetherby, along the same bus route I have been using since 1983, after no one has spoken to me all day, while trying not to spend any money w...

I think media relies on new products to flog any old rubbish the latest fads are HD, 3D and bluray. Wow it's 3d. What next hologram projectors? Sometimes it's all about who you like and who you don't. How trivial to have these empty thoughts in your teens, through your twenties just to see it become nonexistent hatred from then or even more xenophobic turned against entire groups. Or who has stayed at the better holiday cottage. Girls stop this bollocks. I've been going to Leeds on the bus since it was a 799 or 798 at Deighton Bar in around 1984. My first bus journey out without mum I think was with John Naylor to the brand new Ridings in Wakefield. I bought a picture disc of the Reflex by Duran Duran ;12 inch.Pin It had a version of Make Me Smile (come up and see me some time) on the B-side. Jody. Bella Italia, possibly. Oracle, possibly. Print of your CV! Info@pinheads.co.uk attention Jon Tite. 1pm at Pin and Addlestones makes me feel warm and lo...

I got up fairly easily at 7:45am. After bathing I watered my pinto bean sprouts and washed my black eyed beans. Angry and frustrated by 9am. Felt i couldn't get into the day. Took full bin bag out(again)...with neighbours. Got to street lane. Told help the aged I wouldn't really be able to make any other day than Saturday; will be in a 1pm all being well. Popped to Starbucks to kill an hour: got a really good book by Stephen Baxter( Timelike Infinity ) from the Beige-ists. Ran and caught number 12 outside Flying pizza. Arrived at surgery for 11am. Waiting Room No. 2: Mum, dad and out of control child. Sat down reading for 15 minutes, but then dreadlocked child climbed in my space; told parents. All the waiting room and decided to climb on my lap. What am i meant to do/say? 'can you keep your child out of my space?' She thought I was moody,'he's only a child!' Grumpy: you're his mother be more assertive. The father looked at me daggers: i couldn't ...