A rebel without a clue.

Monday, On the 2pm X99 back towards Leeds. The one prior to WHS junk from 3pm onwards. Popped in to town around 7am for Caffe Nero, but it wasn't open so into Costa. A chapter, an espresso(£2.65) and a glass of iced water. Back via Oven Door for a small spelt loaf(£3.10) to a plate full of tinned tomatoes, tomato puree and a couple of knobs of butter on a quartet of spelt slices: splendid. Lola arrived just as I was going to have a bath. Mum's complaining my head smells... So I thoroughly cleaned myself then had a good hour, in the April showers, down through town, up Quarry Hill Lane and through Devil's Toenail to the back of the Old Railway. Stopped under the Glebe bridge to shake off the rain and then back along the Harrogate Church Fenton line. Spotted Tony on the corner of the Morrisons Garage ruffling his Barnet and muttering to his audience: it's his way. Lola didn't spot him and was happy to detour through the forecourt. Put three items on eBay which I hope ...

Monday, Awake at 5am. Went to bed fairly tired, but found it hard to relax: I felt I was under a heavy duvet which was making my body feel trapped, but I really wasn't - it's my usual duvet! I know it's in the mind, but I was suffocating ... Rain against the windowpane and a breeze. Cooler. Not spring like. Coffee brewing while I eat a few walnuts. Last night I listen to the end of Chapter 14, but I didn't 'get it'. That's the way with A Course in Miracles sometimes... Completely impenetrable! Got to focus on those questions Abby asked for me last Occupational Health session. I see her again on Friday... For potentially my final time? Wild weather for April 15th... So Lola and I had a good hour(plus) down through town and up through Crowcroft Bank, along Watersole Lane and back next to the A1. She was happy. It was muddy. I was following her as she actually knows where to walk when it's wet... Perhaps it smells a different way? She knows. Dogs are skill....

Porridge at 7:30. Coffee from 6. Off to collect Lola for 8am. Need to be back on the bus to Leeds at 10:30 from Deighton Road to see to letting the engineer in to fix the boiler... On the 9:30 back to Leeds, an hour earlier. At the flat for noon. Made a nice lunch - carbonara with extra smoked back bacon. I've had no bacon in months and it's been on my mind recently. Ran out of cooking pans so turned to the two mess tins I've had for many a season... Steam baked with honey. And added purple sprouting broccoli at the end. Lush. But the shop bought carbonara sauce had zero flavour - even with added lardons, onions and garlic ... Poor show Sainsbury's (cheap because it's lacking ingredients)?  The engineer is here at 3. I've been cleaning the flat properly between meditation and his arrival. Just having a brew: North Star Ethiopia Goro Natural. The carpet in the front room appears to be disintegrating... Bath then bed... Fantastic. *** Tuesday, Depressed. But it is...

After Easter Tuesday, It's foggy. I slept through until 7:30am. Got up just once during the night for a visit and across the back along York Street a fire engine and a thick fog. Made the bed. Chilling. Coffee. It's 7:45. Bin men are operating; pressed against the windowpanes. Washed and heading to the allotment. 8:45am. Back from a lot of work on the allotment, lunch and then Lola. Got my stuff together and caught the number 7. ... And guess what - back to the flat directly from the No.7 kbus. First time for two weeks I've managed not to via into a pub. Can I manage 3 days? Nice bowl of rice and beans, 2 chillies, a bunch of spring onions, five cloves of garlic, a little masala and a little mixed spice and Marigold's veg stock. Simple. Washed clothes. 20:30pm chapter 8: the journey back. *** Wednesday, I appear to be fully rested at 5:30am(in old currency 4:30am) and I didn't retire until around nine last night after several sections of chapter 8. Returning to the ...

Monday, On the 7am to Wetherby from Cross Stamford Street. Awoke at 5am, but during the night there was a helicopter circling around for quite some time so the night wasn't a solid kip. Pressure cooked some urid dal for dinner. Left them on the hob. On Saturday I got a urid dal spice blend from Abu Bakr so that's my tea this evening: just need some veg to add to the mix. Just about at East Keswick and it's raining. No allotment I suppose... Unless I just take the cardboard up there with Lola? Or wait for it to clear? It's not heavy. We walked up to the allotment, behind the junior school to Nidd Approach, through the footpath behind Priest's Hill across the little park between Aire Road and Ainsty and up the ginnel between the bungalows on King's Meadow Mews, then the wooded area to the edge of Millennium Field and then across and down Northfield Place - Lola took me for a walk. We were wet. ... But it got heavy and persistent and my mother was moaning. So I got...

Monday, Getting ready to leave the flat for Wetherby. Listening to another In Our Time  episode about Prester John. I last listened to it in 2015 after I was recommended the broadcast on BBC4 by George who used to manage in the tiny kitchen at The Brunswick. I've been listening to an episode of the broadcast since then. Nearly 10 years. Ten years next year I've been in the flat. I got barred from NB for five years back then too. I was in a real mess. Much more than I am now, I guess. I saw nothing good: apart from Lola... And the promised sunrise over yonder horizon. But nothing outside can make me happy if I am not happy in my head. The power of the mind. And I am in op of it... Even if it seems I am not!?! 8am X99 Bus. Unpacked back. Lola Allotment. It's now 15:25. Never stopped. Lola. Packed backpack back to Leeds on the X99 it's 17:25. Not stopped. Hopped off the bus at 1800. Groan men obsessing about the GHz of their side bus, gfx card and processor. They even brou...

Monday, Put washing on the rack to dry. Made a coffee. Proving some bread. Day to myself in Leeds. Miserable. But I am alive and happy. Was invited to Wetherby to spend the day. A surprise.  The left foot is beginning to get me down. No matter which insoles I am wearing it is painful. Been out with Lola for an hour, made lunch and headed to the allotment for an hour, but the clouds threaten rain and the earth is very very saturated from Sunday's downpour. Coffee and chill until 3. May take Lola for another meander, but unlikely. Tuesday I think. Or will I see Robert then head to Leeds? I forecast uncertainty. Took Lola for another meander. Ate some Linda McCartney veggie items with rocket after I'd eaten some nice soup mum had made - but it was made with chicken stock! She never said until I was half way through the bowl. Feeling a bit chilly from something so crawled into bed. Might be time to tune out? Just eaten three spoonfuls of live yogurt as it always brings me around? E...