A rebel without a clue.

To be unified. Perhaps the best thing to do is disband NATO? The closer we draw a line in the sand along the east/west frontier the less likely it is cooperation will occur. What was the fall of Communism for? Was it simply so the USA could spread it's devilish wings as shadow drapped on a land which isn't Western in any of its cultural or sociological scope, but gets paid to lean west? First beer - half an Anthology Oatmeal Stout (5.2%) at 13:20. Followed 15 minutes later by an Anthology Marlborough (5.2%). How am I feeling? Grateful for the 50 years in which I've been interested. The slings and arrows, etc, etc. The smell of Cheddar for a Croque Monsieur/English derivative. But I've got to return to COW for a pair of Combat Pants, which was seriously short on buttons, and I never return. It's a one-way street to nowhere. I've a pack of seed trays and a 25l bag of seed compost in the sack: it's time to set off some tomatoes at the flat. Using the LED lights...

Time is a great healer. It has been said. The things in the mind of the past dissolve like entropic decay. They collapse into more remote or closed off sections of the presence. Sometimes they appear again, especially in dreams or, for me, when I am walking. They appear bright as day to punish me and kick me. It's always been a surreal experience for me the way I can be walking, walking, walking and suddenly a memory of what someone did or said to attack me becomes the focal point, clear as day, which punishes me again and again. It's like someone, somewhere, is thinking negative thoughts about me right then and they spontaneously pop up in my head there, adding fear and doubt into my actions: a question of what it all means occurs to me then and I want to scream. ... Give thanks for life. Be thankful. Pay attention and be grateful. Life is difficult, but it is always worth carrying the cross. The cross is light.

We must remember what happened all those years ago and why, if it occurs again, there will be nothing left but piles of corpses and tattered rags degenerating in the erosions of time. Whatever we are for, if indeed there is any meaning to anything we do, surely those memories of past brutality (which still occur all around us) can stop us being so utterly pointless? There is a vulture circling overhead on the border between east and west waiting to pounce on chaos and further rip it to shreads, laughing and screeching, in the gutter in which we could lie. But, no, this cannot be! Remember the past, don't turn your back on the hideous things we did (and are still doing). History is a lesson poorly learnt. So we stand at yet another crossroads. Where untruth is spoken and broadcast between nation and individuals, people, families, friends and in ourselves which must be seen for the calamity it could become. Remember what happened last time Europe, and the world, descended into rivalr...

Monday morning, 7 am. Clouds rushing from West to East with some breaks in the monotony. Yesterday afternoon monotonous. I waited all morning for an 'out of hours' visit to sort the leak on the cistern/toilet which couldn't be fixed by him because the problem is the outlet rusting. He will feedback to Leeds City Council. And he couldn't fix the over flowing issue because he wasn't called out for that... So basically he put some 'tape' around the outlet pipe which has prevented a leak so far, but when I told him I'd still need to turn off the mains to stop the overflow - I am on a water meter and it's a waste of water - he didn't understand why... At least he came out ... But it's his job and I bet he gets paid loads extra to be on standby over a weekend? I find the service provided by Leeds City Council numbing. It's so hard to get a friendly voice at the end of the phone and the people who visit are sullen: it took ages to get beyond his...

I almost fell off the wagon on Saturday evening, but I swerved around the collosal mistake by refusing to stay in busy, fit to bust, Leeds city centre. If I had gone to Belgrave after a half in North Bar I think I would've unwound all the good stuff from the trip up to Sutton Bank with Stephen Betts. It's fairly safe to say, I am almost 100% certain, that Lola hasn't been for an adventure quite like that ever? Down to Gormire Lake and up to the Cleveland Way she was a happy pupster bolting through leaf litter and a very sandy soil field. I love her whenever she seems so tickled that she goes on Vizsla spinnies! On the soft surface she seems totally unconcerned by her poorly foot and reclaims her youthful exuberance! And she was skill in the car too: quite happily laid behind the driver and passenger. We will do that again. *** Finally reported the leak from the toilet cistern with Leeds City Council out of hours emergency number: perhaps the issue can be resolved and I won...

So far so good. Lola, Stephen and I drove up to Sutton Bank walked down to Gormire Lake, went clockwise around it and climbed back up to the escarpment and continued along the Cleveland Way. My left foot spasmed on near the end: new boots first outing (hope it's not a sign of things to come)? Stephen had some issue with his left ankle: we're falling apart at the seams it seems. He needs to heal his heel and I need a new left foot to attach to my left leg! On the way back to Leeds for two nights, I've got to be at the flat for an induction about the new fire safety being installed in the block from the 21st. The forecast suggests tomorrow will be a right off weatherwise, but if there is an opportunity to walk in these new boots I'll try again. Scarpa Evo GTX. Had three pints of Wetherby Jet Black Porter and one bottle Orval yesterday at the brewery. Slept well. Stephen and I had a very weighty and tasty BEST bap from Tancred Farm near Whixley, Lola had two chipolata saus...

Lola took me up through Ainsty View to the back entrance to the allotment yesterday morning. We'd not been that way together in a while. She seemed uninterested in a long walk, and I wanted to spend some time at the allotment before meeting Ian and Andy at the Mews around 2pm, so I let her take me up through the ginnel between the Ainsty Co-op and Poplar Avenue. At the junction I gave her the option of going up Maple Drive or along Poplar Avenue towards Kings Meadow. It's been ages since we walked that way to where it's possible to join the Old Railway. After a little longer, heading towards the Bridge on Spofforth Hill, we were back at mum's little more than an hour later. After three pints with Ian and Andy, and a somewhat uncomfortable few moments not knowing if I'd offended Andy, I went and collected Merry Legs who brought me back to the Mews. After her being smothered in affection by all the people in the bar area I took her for a short walk up Hallfield Lane, ...