A rebel without a clue.

Ouch... Forgot that those steps were very steep in the terraced house and very nearly ended up in Urgencies, once more, as I saw myself as a pile of broken limbs at the bottom on the first floor. Luckily, or unluckily, I am now walking 30kms with a busted left foot. To stop myself falling I flung myself against the wall and collided with the step and my left foot - the one which is already very painful! Mainly walking on roads through suburbia until one park prior to the underpass below the main road to Rouen and then I am in the countryside. There is a feeder stream Selle by my left side, but I am still on the road. Cuckoos in the woods and fields of ripening wheat to my right. Left foot sore, but ok - for now! ... I could go no further. As I approached Conty the restaurant on the left was closed so I had to continue onto the crossroads into the village and hope the Auberge was stil serving food. After stumbling passed a Turkish kebab place I quickly retraced my tracks and went inside...

A long day. Topped off by 30+ temperature. Just in time for happy hour at la Green Corner - the same place I came to last July, when the temperature was closer to 40°C. The Airbnb looks like student accommodation with a couple in the room below me. There is some fête going on in the Parc Saint-Pierre and the room faces that direction, and I reckon they're heading there later, but no worries. Just a half priced pint and back to a second shower? There is a market from 7am along the quayside and I must walk before it gets too warm in the afternoon? 30°C by 4pm. 

Heading out of the flat to begin the day getting to Amiens and first stop Sainsbury's for a can of CBD. But they've run out. Second port of call Pret a Manger on Albion Place, but, for some annoying reason, they've changed the playlist to generic 1980s pop from the interesting eclectic mix of previous times. So I will never go to another Pret unless I get sound cancelling headphones? Whitney fucking Huston... The new pair of Mountain Equipment shorts are great, but the drawstring is woefully short so I can't actually fasten them up! Leeds BID operatives - street rangers - are discussing a dead pigeon - fried pigeon. Thick as a brick. I am over sensitive this morning and was crying over the phone, as I spoke to mother, as I was worried I might never see Lola again. She's wonderful! Yesterday she had a lovely time running in the wheat and barley grass fields, with Ruby up alongside the copse, but came out with a bloody nick on her right paw. She seemed unconcerned abo...

The morning of the PIP assessment and I am chilling. No heavy session last night, I sat in the sun up on the roof terrace at Belgrave, but got back to the flat at 6, ate 5 dates, washed all my bath linen towels, mats, flannels, dressing gown, etc on a 60°C wash and then slept until 5, rolled over until 5:45am, made a three scoop coffee and then made the base for my breakfast. Next stage will be a bath, before I vacuum up the flat? Back to finish off breakfast, three eggs, a spoonful of Za'atar on each, three toasted Warburton's slices, olive oil and the slow pan fried leak, red onion, brown onion, spring onion and garlic reduction. It is quite nice to have a slow unhurried start to the day? Often I am hurrying to get to Wetherby, because I feel responsible, on either the X98 or X99, even though I get no sense that I am appreciated, needed or even wanted there ... ... All girls ever seem to do is complain about another person, usually another girl, who isn't present. I went ...

Very quiet Sunday and slept well until gone six this morning. With a warm cup of black coffee in my left hand and the patio doors opened upon the heightening sun the crows discuss the morning and sparrows of the hedgerows chirp a chorus too. The murmur of the A1(M), consistent alongside Wetherby always heard and always remembered displacing folks from their beds towards box B... The current of humanity above and outside, but inner and within; ubiquitous. Yesterday I handed over my CV for the first time since 2014. Hastily altered by removing the long list of employment statistics from 1995 until YHA in 2007. So I didn't exist before 2007 and then again after Yo Sushi! and Mosaic Fulfillment Solutions in 2013. A long time for no-being. Trying to connect, but rarely doing so. Sainsbury's: I only ever shop in Sainsbury's because it's got a lighter feel than any of the other big 3. I hesitate to enter Morrisons in Wetherby with the continual intense noises: music, people, a...

Market day in Wetherby - a day I need to avoid the legions of slow footed octogenarians so back to Leeds on the no 7; no hanging around for the X98. Spent an hour or so watering the allotment first thing, then had a plate of beans on toast before Lola and I went down to the Wilderness car park, under the two A1 bridges(old and semi-new) then back along the side of the A1, passed the bottom of the race course and back down York Road, she joined me for a wee cuddle before returning below so I could have a full hour meditating. Still feeling a little flat since being exhausted yesterday, but perhaps not as abysmally depressed as I was first thing this morning! But the number 7 is full. And late so the X98 it is...

And I've woken up bored. Bored of my life. Unexcited by going through the morning routine to get myself to Wetherby for the Wetherby routine and then carry on until the evening when I fall into the dream state. I need an adventure. But can I afford one before the start of Summer when I will have to position myself dog centre of Wetherby... It could be worse? I read somewhere that death can be caused by cell boredom too... Pseudoscience at its worst, but interesting? I know boredom is an aspect of what causes depression. I am rarely depressed when I am drifting with no actual goal really in mind. Got down to Boar Lane for the 7 am bus. Ready to be removed along the same streets, with the same spoken stop points. Last night I returned to the flat to make a rice dish with a broth I'd made from the various spices, herbs and three eggs - this morning I washed up and put everything back in its place. Yesterday morning was Robert and my monthly meeting, but, first the first time ever,...