A rebel without a clue.

Dawn walking. Since I got the positive test result, and have been stuck behind the front door of 42, I've walked Lola before sunrise (technically 'civil' sunrise) to keep isolating. She's so versatile. It's not my normal behaviour, neither is putting her bed next to my mattress, directly on the carpet, and sleeping alongside her. But she's done it so well! Each morning she's stayed wrapped up, and snuggly, under her own duvet cover until just prior to 6 am, she's had breakfast at 6:30am and then we've gone out at 7:30am, for around an hour, to be back at official sunrise: it's probably a good job I am taking a vitamin D supplement as I never spend all of daylight inside... Yesterday I dropped her at my sister, so she can have some company, at the same time as I delivered deodorant and 2 lateral flow test kits, and I am collecting her at around civil sunrise for another dawn walk. By Tuesday I should be just about out of this isolation business as...

For a few days - since Christmas Day - I felt I coming down with a cold, but yesterday I tested positive for COVID although I have none of the symptoms. On Wednesday I was speaking to someone I value so on my way back to Wetherby on Thursday morning I picked up a week supply of LFT because I was worried my mother might be asymptomatic - she'd spent all of Christmas Day in my sister's, (and nephew's), company. And she tested positive for COVID on Wednesday. On Thursday morning I took Lola for a long walk, around 3 hours or 8 miles, something we didn't manage on Christmas Day because I was dog sitting Ruby, to allow my mum to get up and about and then take a swab test. She sent me a message saying she was clear midway through the morning walk. When I returned with Lola at noon, and after I'd had a bowl of homemade rooty veg soup, I thought just for peace of mind I'd take a lateral flow test too. It came back with two solid lines! I've got COVID! Reflecting bac...

The world must be equal. Everyone must be entitled to the same quality of live. Aren't we all in this together? In a time of plentitude having the top 1% devour all the opportunities isn't right. Either we come together or the top 1% will lead the remainder back into shackles (if they haven't already)? Time to eat a banana as I have a cramp from crossed legs. I just went and ate a banana: a time of plentitude! It was an instant of simplicity which globalisation has brought. In my opinion the world must overcome nationalism, and/or patriotism, to become United together against the common 'enemy': the one at the heart of the web. It is still Them who I fear most. ... This pandemic? Is it true? What are the facts of it? Which one's aren't disseminated by Governments, Media Outlets or the Antivax agendas? ... It's raining. It's been damp for too long! The paths are tedious, but at least the mud doesn't ride up the inside leg if I walk rurally. I was ...

What comes next? After COVID-19 disappears from view, in the next few year, then what is it which will, quite literally, tear friends & families, kith & kin, apart as never before: specifically in the decadent West? War? But this will be unlike any before. Not orchestrated against the Hun, the Commies or the Yellow Peril it will be between white folks who can't agree on anything. This morning I listened to the final podcast currently being aired by Jon Robson Things Fell Apart  which discusses the BLM campaign and institutional racism which exists at the centre of white life, because it can't help but exist: only a few years these black folks were our slaves to do with as we wanted, as before then white folks were slaves (all folks were slaves) in the pre modern era: Feudalism. Living in the UK, where it is class consciousness, and not racist per se, which is the main Elephant in the room, I always have a feeling that I am seen as an 'inferiority' to those upper...

Christmas Day fades away And Boxing Day opens up with rain. Yesterday Lola, Ruby and I had a lovely long walk, with a few off piste bits to keep them exhilarated, from Chestnut Avenue to The Bay Horse via Lime Kiln Lane and the Old Railway lines. Up on the sides of the railway cutting there is a way, not so overgrown with brambles in Winter. Half way along they both had a spinning crazy moment, dashing everywhere in the leaf litter. Even Lola, with her poorly foot, was in the zone of extreme happiness: it was a joy to behold. They get on so well! Lola goes to some patch to scent mark, or just to check it out, and so does Ruby. Ruby went chasing seabirds as we crossed a field and Lola longed to do the same, but never can with that mangled limb... This morning Ruby sleeps soundly in their bed. Last night I heard what I thought was a nocturnal noise from Ruby so got her out of her crate and brought her, willingly, to her owners main bedroom: she builds herself a nest amongst the pillows a...

Wistful. What is a wist to be full? Wist it wit? Wist is past participle of wit... Looking back and wishing it were now. Last night! I wish it was still now! Or do I? The past is something I can never know for certain happened. All I am aware of is what comes to me now. If I then think of a past now what part of that have I forgotten, purposely or erroneously, which was a central feature of the field of previous now? The gravity well in which I attract or repell. I am matter so I distort space time around me and so alter everything in a subtle manner. Each of us has this tangle of forces.

Like my split personality the day begins pretty peacefully but it ends in alcohol hell. Like Doctor Jeykll and Mister Hyde I pour a tonic for myself as the hours creep onwards. Every other day. So half the year. Then I hardly sleep from 3. I toss and turn with nightmarish thoughts trapped. Trying my left side, right side or on my back: never on my front (I can't sleep that way). By 5 or 5:30 I give in and get dressed. Have a brew and start the uphill climb to being clean again. And I has such a gem like wonderful morning with Lola on the X70 to the Stray and then via Harlow Hill to Valley Gardens. I know she adores a bus journey. And she recognises where we are as we pass through Spofforth, passed the Crimple Beck, to Stonefall Cemetery. At the graveyard we often get off for a walk through the Great Yorkshire Show ground, so she gets a little more focused around there. But it's just a little too muddy at the moment to go there: bring on the spring. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve - t...