A rebel without a clue.

Instantly those thoughts of suicide came back. The morning I set off for the X98 towards Wetherby and what appears to be the meaninglessness of everything here. I struggle to see any worth in any of the activities I perform? Doing anything at the allotment was hard going. Will try again on Monday? This must be untrue... I let Ruby out of her nighttime crate: where I left her at 8pm, and I sought sanctuary in sleep, she leap out and gave me her wriggling good morning, happy to see you, cuddly thing and then went to find the remainder of her solace up on mummy's bed. For the previous two nights I'd had Lola over too, in my bed here on Chestnut Avenue, keeping me warm and snuggling: but that was on a belly of wine. Try again this evening but on an empty stomach. Yesterday morning we were on the bus by 8am heading for the Show Ground in Harrogate for a nosy around Crimple Beck, up to Hornbeam Park and Hookstone Woods: the closest expanse of parkland this side of Harrogate and only ...

The long journey back to Leeds. I was crawling into bed at 11 o'clock. Is it worth it? The tram journey through rotten at the core Manchester to buzz about Victoria Station and pay too much for the short, overcrowded Transpennine Express... It really isn't Express? Into another city who's core is diseased beyond remedy? Leeds. But I got back in one piece. Just a couple of halves along the mile or so up to Lovell Park Hill. A wash done. No hangover. Hot water for a bath, soak, cleanse, before heading back to Boar Lane to catch the X99 to Westgate, where I will pick up some dog food and milk from Sainsbury's, and the go and connect with all things Wetherby? Was it worth it? The last 15/16 days? Of course. I didn't think of suicide at all and only briefly considered those folks around me who do me no good abs and I ruminate over. Especially Adrian, who I didn't consider once until the morning of Wednesday...

Eight in the morning on the final day of the Chemin/Holiday(hem hem)... I don't enjoy walking 30 plus kilometres a day! It's just something which like any habit I do without considering it? And it brings me momentary relief from the banality of what goes on in England? It's not a holiday! Well I suppose it's a kind of one from the point of view of another who sees any break from monotony as a holiday? But if I had the means (financial) and no responsibilities (Lola, mother and allotment) I'd go for a substantial time: perhaps the whole month it takes to do something like the Camino Frances (even with its crowds)? Truthfully I've spent a little too many weeks in France this year, and my comprehension hasn't increase and my pronunciation is still pas , there are other places I would like to go on the Camino: from where I broke off. Back to Salamanca, Figueira da Foz or Tortosa and these probably should be the future starting points on the goal which would even...

First time for everything: I caught the wrong train... On the wrong platform going north not south, so now I am in Argenton-sur-Creuse again! It could be worse it could be Leeds-upon-Aire? My flight isn't until 1720 tomorrow so I could stay here and head to Limoges tomorrow... Catching the correct train on the correct platform, nah! Hilarious, I got on the wrong train... Fantastic - I am so exhausted, from those dozen or so days, that I didn't register a green screen is arrivals and a blue screen is departures... My bad. Truly I am at the end of my endurance... Setting off from Beauvais with a hangover, leaving Paris with a hangover and walking a few hundred kilometres between Beauvais and La Souterraine and now a coffee in a corner café... What next? I am frazzled and haven't booked anything in Limoges (good job). Perhaps I head there at my leisure and try to stay with the Nuns? Time for 2 coffees and a croissant and to ponder who was is positioned directly beh...

At the end of this Way. This time. Two days and one night remaining so I want to down tools and chill before heading back to Blighty, post-funeral. Last night was a great end with me listening intently to three speaking French and I do believe it was about the price of things: inflation. A very standard conversation for those that do not move... I'll return to the UK, BBC, my mother and all that stuff on Wednesday so I wasn't really listening too intently. The meal was fine. A little bland, but they usually are on the Chemin Saint Jacques: white rice, white cauliflower, white cucumber salad and porc in a jus. But it was the right combination of foods - and it was finished off with a wonderful Compote de pomme. And I slept soundly with a lingering headache from slightly too much distance in the sunshine without a break... Meaning to have a shower I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, when I awoke with a start everyone was also in their beds, so I am not so clean this m...

Not the best night's sleep and i think I kept Keith up too with my snoring? He could hear it the previous night through the partition walls, so in the same room it must've been difficult? Packed up and made a chocolate drink from a few cubes of a good quality dark chocolate, except it had whole almonds in it so I used a spoon mainly: in the pantry there was an unopened packet French crisp bread which was an ideal sop for the chocolate drink. Now I am ready again: day twelve of walking.It's getting a little darker in the mornings: noticeably! It's all good: coffee 5 kilometres up the road and I have more chocolate, bread and a block of emmental to send me onwards and I ate a lot of pasta yesterday around 3pm, which I hope is still about? 25 kilometres today into Limousin? Last night I finished A Moveable Feast  and I left Hemingway on the coffee table for another person to read. Again, for the second times this time out, I am without reading material. But it's intere...

A beautiful morning. Chatting to two pilgrims finishing here, same as the couple from last night, who are doing it in stages. 5 days out from Bourges to Gargilesse. There is a Gare 10 kilometres away so they're off to catch the train back to home near Besançon. They're off at seven and I will be away by sunrise. A more challenging aspect to today, by the sound of it, as it's more climbing. But I've not had any climbing to do of this nature since last year in Majorca and I thoroughly enjoyed that experience, until Sòller but even that was fairly enjoyable - if the villages were out of my reach financially? Vallée de la Creuse. *** An interesting morning through the mist, by the cows in the fields: this is a different France. The wasps are spinning around me now on a filled belly. I made too much pasta with flageolet and lardons then passed out. Keith, the interesting Quebecian, said I slept like a baby. For a few days I've sought the after meal siesta but it hasn...