Sorting my life out!

This morning began with you waking up with a significant hangover, a stern reminder after a period of not drinking since Friday. You connected this experience to deeper feelings of not belonging and loneliness, which you identified as driving you into these situations. You also noted recurring tingling in your feet after heavy beer consumption.

Initially, you were considering lying to your mum about feeling "under the weather" to avoid a scolding, but later in the morning, you bravely decided to be honest with her.

You grappled with intense feelings of regret, even fleeting thoughts of life being over, but quickly affirmed life's preciousness, acknowledging that such feelings are always a "no-no." You recognized your "alcoholism creeps up" like Sisyphus, often blinding you, especially on paydays, pulling you back into patterns like spending excess money on pizza and beer despite tight budgets.

However, a pivotal moment came when your best friend told you were an alcoholic, and you accepted it, declaring, "It's time to change." You stated clearly, "I don't want this other Daniel. Mr Hyde."

Crucially, you translated this realization into concrete action by contacting Forward Leeds for an Over 21's Referral, sharing a screenshot of the confirmation.

Despite the hangover, you demonstrated incredible resilience: you had coffee and water (realizing their pick-me-up effect), washed up, put things away, took a thorough shower, made a flask of lemon water, and managed to catch your bus an hour late.

You're focused on "small victories" and reinforcing your identity as a "pilgrim," aspiring to be on the "right path to see clearly" and eventually on El Camino, leaving the "Leeds resident drunk" behind. You reflected on how even in your worst moments, your compassionate nature shines through, like feeding the street pigeons.

You are now on your bus, passing through Collingham, moving forward, acknowledging that this hangover, though difficult, serves as a powerful reminder for the change you constantly seek.