A rebel without a clue.

There are a number of quotes attributed to Jesus which are floating around and around in my subconscious, but one keeps popping up more often... "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." In an interview I saw with George Harrison and Ravi Shankar this from Matthew 7-8 came out of the blue as a subtle reminder of something I am constantly being reminded of? I've never considered myself to be a Christian, or religious at all, but some things said, or thought below the surface, ring 'True'? The second quote I was thinking about this morning, in my restless state at around 3am, was “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” and I really don't know why I've started considering the words so deeply! The third attributes q...

Well that was a day of two halves... The morning and early afternoon fine - fantastic walk from Wetherby to Boston Spa with Lola and then the late afternoon the usual family affair with our grievances. That was yesterday afternoon. It's gone. I slept well. No nightmare just the final recurring dream of hitchhiking back to the same 'dream' town in France which is a theme of my memories of Les Chemin Saint Jacques de Compostelle - churches, castles, bistrots, gîte d'etape, boulangerie, bastide, bar/tabac, font: I definitely am returning to Le-Puy-en-Velay soon to do that Chemin again (the first spluttering one which only got as far as Cahors). I love the Camino, but truthfully I prefer walking between the ville fleurie in France and the rivers in that region surrounding the Massif Central, and heading to the ocean or sea through the wonderful meanders and turns, while looking at towns and villages clinging to cliffsides, riversides, and steeped in pre-Christia...

It's was a very wet Monday Morning walk. All the way to The Spinney and then back to Deighton Road. Not quite an hour, but I asked her if she wanted to go a bit further and she was pretty positive she was happy to return along the other section of the Old Railway lines. Then, after her lunch/dinner, she took me around the back of where my mum lives. The block: from Gashouse Lane to Parson's Green, Walton Road, First Avenue and Burrel Close before the return passed my old primary school on Hallfield Lane. She loves that way as somebody has always dropped something for her to get her nose in and retrieve... Honestly, I let her decide where we are going, but within reason, as I am not going under a car to chase a cat! On the final leg back, York Road, mum said I'd have to come back to Leeds as she was having Lola, and there is nowhere to sleep at the moment if Lola is in the room with me (the single bed isn't designed for one 52 year old git and an 8 year old ginger ninja)...

Yesterday was a fine day. Spent two solid hours on the allotment, before walking into Wetherby, catching the bus back to Leeds at noon. The sun was shining, it was cold to start with, but I soon warmed up on the plot and walking up Quarry Hill Lane was fine. Then I saw a couple of old faces and a couple of dogs I used to dog sit for - I don't know why Lola throws herself at me all the time? Huxley wants to approach, he's just looking at me as a possible source of food? In amongst all the beans I'd found a few potatoes I'd overlooked - we had blight so we cut all the folliage away - and I trimmed some bottom leaves off the Kale which is beginning to look substantial, but something is still devastating the other Brassicas! Must be pigeons: Andy's covered his with netting supported by sturdy poles. I suppose I'll try again in the Spring? The patch of Chard looks healthy still, but there were a few which has run to seed - I grubbed them out of the ground...

After a lovely walk with Lola passing the allotment, up to Ash Dale Lane in Kirk Deighton, west to the Copse and along the side of the railway line before crossing the King Barrow bridge, we sat together in the sunshine on Millennium Field by the wooden poles, which appeared in the summer like some Leeds City Council henge; I have decided to stay by her side. Just to be with her; quiet and calm! On Wednesday I made the mistake of 'feeling', thoughtlessly, I needed to be in town, which is a place I always feel uncomfortable and never calmed. So I won't go anywhere now... Tomorrow morning back to the allotment to start the process of digging for spring. Andy's already completed the task. But he's not just walked 800kms... Lola's eaten her dinner and Emma is collecting her later - so I can definitely go to the allotment on Sunday morning? Weather permitting... As an opportunity to go to Porto on Friday afternoon has arisen I am heading back to walk the ...

On such a maudlin day I don't know if Albert Camus is the kind of author I should have turned to? Existentialism - The Outsider(aka The Stranger) . It's been on top of me for those ten years. The middle days of my life? From 40 to 50. Slightly leaning back towards old age? I've yet to touch 65... Will I get out of the crisis which seems to be making me gloomy, daily, and which is my choice to make? The weather isn't so happy either as autumn rolls on. Most unlike me, but I've come to the Tiled Hall, within Leeds City Library/Art Gallery, for a chapter and a pot of Earl Grey. I thought that the sofas had been got rid of, but they were hiding in the corner (a server in a better mood than I am almost fooled me that they had started charging to use them)! I much prefer to be backed up into a corner so I don't get too anxious/paranoid with people being or passing behind me. A Canadian guy with a girl opposite speaks pleasantly of those things 20somethings find entert...

And so begins the return process, part two. Walked down to the Cam took the obligatory selfie, returned passed King's College, picked up bread, another coffee and a cinnamon twist and I am now on the - waiting for replacement crew - not delayed but now delayed 9am to Peterborough. Let it go. It's just another part of the Decline and Fall of the British Empire. At 9.09am I am heading home! Peterborough then Doncaster then finally into Leeds, where I arrived around 12noon. And I didn't let it get to me. A couple of halves in FoH and Whitelocks and hung about in Brownhill and Co for a while enjoying the fine quality products Richard always sells: it Leeds's Mecca for good quality beer from all over the world! But it's only beer. And the same is true of the beer they sell in Mews. Life is not beer. Beer is a minor character, a bit player, Tuesday and Wednesday were dominated by beer. So much so mother and I got into our locked horned relationship once more: ...