Thursday thoughts. Porto tomorrow evening...

There are a number of quotes attributed to Jesus which are floating around and around in my subconscious, but one keeps popping up more often...

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."

In an interview I saw with George Harrison and Ravi Shankar this from Matthew 7-8 came out of the blue as a subtle reminder of something I am constantly being reminded of?

I've never considered myself to be a Christian, or religious at all, but some things said, or thought below the surface, ring 'True'?

The second quote I was thinking about this morning, in my restless state at around 3am, was “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” and I really don't know why I've started considering the words so deeply!

The third attributes quote is  "I am the light that is over all things. I am all: from me all came forth, and to me all attained. Split a piece of wood; I am there. Lift up the stone, and you will find me there."

Then something was said by Rick Steves, in the discussion I saw between him, Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez on a clip published on one of the Camino groups I am a member of on FB, which also made me think. "We're all Christians here"...

Am I a Christian? This is deeper than I ever thought about my beliefs in a while. Ten years of the Camino and perhaps I am. The revelation I had which led me out of one way and onto 'The Way' ... That bad night back in spring 2013, when I was struggling with knowing what I was doing; when I felt everything I doing was so fake, phony, meaningless, empty, and I woke up knowing none of it was 'real': but still struggling with knowing what 'real' meant at all...

Then cousin Robert hands me a copy of A Course In Miracle and I thought this contains 'Truth' on a level I've never even scratched the surface of before...

And then tomorrow I set off back on The Way... And I am looking for another perspective of what the Camino is: right there on the path ... not up ahead or in the planning or the considering?

It's all so confusing. I am just a confused little boy looking for someone to take me by the hand and lead me to the right of path away from all the pain I feel in myself. Not physical pain, although at 52 I am getting quite used to everything hurting all the time, but emotional...

Tomorrow I am seeing Abby, an occupational health therapist at the Light Surgery. The last few occasions I've let her down because I was walking the Camino, although she called me each time and we spoke about how I was/am doing. As I feel something has just changed in my mind. Where this locale feels like it's fading away and a larger reality is opening up ahead: stepping out of the cave entrance; turning around from the back wall and stepping into the light of reality (... Is this truth)?

So philosophical for a Thursday morning...

Mum had a fall, again, when out with Lola. Lola doesn't like dogs coming around the corner so there was a little confrontation and mother was pulled to the floor and grazed her knees (replaced and bone) and I worry about her really hurting herself at 81... But can I worry about her fragility to the extent I don't keep trying to "knock" on the door in the only way I've found? To know 'truth' and 'see' reality, without my projection, in every aspect of 'Creation'(the universe is a blooming complicated place).