above the Pyrenees.

-
Why do I consistently chose the problem when I know the answer?

I am consistently choosing the problem! Even in the midst of the answer I eventually choose the problem again. All the time.

I am afraid of myself, my brothers and everything else. Where did my fear come from? It's debilitating.

I do not fear the unknown, but the known - how very true?

At the end of the walk I was failing to achieve what I needed from the experience. After Cortes I would say I was distracted from being on the path. From Zaragoza to Cortes I was fixed in my mind. From Cortes to Alcanadre it was a chore; a yawn; a lack of peace or sufficiency. By the time I had reached Tudela my mind was struggling to find true quiet. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

An Essay.

-
Introduction. My name is Pilgrim. I walk through this life much as I walk through my allotment – a space I often describe as disorganized, yet to me, it feels profoundly holistic. I don't fear wasp stings; I stride through nettles and thistles and brambles, finding a curious interest in the cut skin, a quiet control over the bleeding. I have no fear of the dark or the unseen. What truly disturbs me is the chatter, the small talk that ripples through existence, obscuring the profound truths unfolding before our very eyes. I prefer chaos to order, perhaps because the imposed order I witness around me feels so deeply, fundamentally false. I literally eat things along the path, unbothered by what others might deem unsafe, for my perceptions lie far beyond the superficial. I’ve come to see this world as a grand, unsettling performance, a "game" played at the highest echelons, designed to "manage the populace from cradle to grave." It's not a conspiracy in the nea...
Read more

Early Morning Reflections, Friday 25th July

-
Image
The day began around 6 AM with nature's own podcast, offering its unique sounds: the gentle hum of the bumblebee, the quiet crackle of coffee brewing, and the distinct signals of the pigeons. Even Bart, our lodger, added to the soundscape with his characteristic stomping above. News of Bart finding proper new digs brought a sense of relief, meaning I won't have to sleep on the floor downstairs anymore – a simple relief, without fanfare. Bart departed before 6 AM, and soon after, Adrian's alarm next door signaled his usual awakening, another familiar sound in the morning's rhythm. I've been truly enjoying how Wetherby is unfolding, fostering a profound sense that I definitely do belong. This feeling connects to my core sense of being a witness without judgment, simply observing reality as it is. I've found that claiming a certain stillness prior to the day's fumes is essential for a long life and to avoid aging into senility. Anxiety, in contrast,...
Read more

Tuesday 5th August... the countdown has begun!

-
It is a new day, and the journey that began with a quiet "phew" has unfolded. I opened a window to hear the morning, a motorbike a small, quick echo on North Street as I sat above the road. The sun rose, and it was orange, pouring from a break in the clouds. I baked sweet peppers and a marrow, a sprinkle of tajin, a grind of black pepper, and extra virgin olive oil. I left the poppy seeds, jam sugar, and cider vinegar in liquor to wait until I return. From my cell, I watched the sun move south, knowing I would soon have to move my sofa to keep it in sight. I reminded myself that I am as old as the universe, a truth of the Unity Theory. I reflected on the post-war ethos, on the bankruptcy of Britain, and the setting of the British Empire's sun, and the rising of a new one. I clipped alcoholism on Tuesday a week ago, and yesterday I took the clippers to my head, a brave act of transformation. I don't feel bad. With the kitchen tidy and my outfit on, I ate my leftovers f...
Read more