Wednesday March 16th

Yesterday I was suffering from nervous exhaustion - I cracked my left foot on the same table leg three times and stumbled, almost falling, through an hour and a half of walking Lola over to the East of Wetherby - beyond the A1(M) up Carr Lane and Sandbeck Lane - my feet went everywhere but where I would've liked them to go. Eventually, at 6pm, I retired to upstairs to read a few more harrowing chapters of Alone in Berlin and turned off the light at 7. Unlike the previous night my sleep was only broken once, but when I finally awoke at 5am I didn't struggle but came downstairs to make a brew.

A Budgeting Loan I applied for (£133.53) is in my account this morning so I've sent some to my mum and the remainder to the credit cards I owe. I am trying to be at zero again by the 28th March - prior to flying to Paris and a long walk away from Lola, mother, allotment, Wetherby, Leeds and War!

So now I have £348 owing to the DWP which will come off my ESA until June/July - when I will away once more, but in the UK, prior to Dog Sitting Ruby on Chestnut Avenue. Ruby's owners are on the COVID delayed cruise at the back end of June - I can think of nothing more meaningless than a cruise. Let me walk there instead!

But I currently have so many aches and pains in both feet: Tendonitis and perhaps the beginnings of an ingrowing toenail? And my knees are painful and my knuckles are very sensitive too: rheumatoid arthritis or something. Ageing in all it's disappointments.

No alcohol yesterday and only one glass of wine and one can of Guinness, with food, on Monday. On Sunday I had two pints of a 4.4% coconut Porter in The Mews with Nicholas.