Monday 25th January

How to walk in February, through rain, mud, snow, ice and find somewhere to sleep. Homeless people sleep in doorways, they can't be freezing otherwise they wouldn't be alive in the morning. They must cherish wool, thermally protective clothing. Many layers. The smells of their bodies must be beyond their perception. We're not used to our natural smells as the huge perfume and deodorant business demonstrates. We are animals with sweat glands, we perspire to keep cool, yes it smells but that is actually normal. We deny our true nature by pampering our selves in cosmetics and fabric conditioners; Glade, Air Wick and Febreze fill shelves in all supermarkets. But why? What made man hate his own smell? Are we always going to deny our nature.

Will scientist develop pleasant smells in our DNA? A few stem cells will consign that industry to the dole queue. Quickly please tweak the genome!

How do you sleep in a doorway?

How many pairs of socks would be enough pairs of socks? You can never have enough socks ...

Pleasantly surprised by the new university library and the Caffé Nero with its refectory table to share a space with studious students working through their assignments while discussing the next fad, fashion and playing on their smart phones. Three operations but gossip always wins in the end.

But I did manage this winter excursion twice before. And I found beds regularly. An old persons home, an Abbey, hostel and a family home. In God I place my trust. There must be belief rampaging in my grey matter. There is always a way: The Way is a test in presence. Nothing happens without a will. Nothing seems to happen without WiFi! Sleeping in a church? When the doors are now locked? To sleep at the farm I pass by on the wild roads. Yes there are unnumbered methods; a multitude of distinct options that will surface from the cosmos there and then; conjured out of the ether - Allakhazam.

Food ... Am I starving? No I clearly never have known destitution, misery or malnutrition. I have never walked to a water hole to find it disappeared up into the heavy blue by the relentless sun cracking the planet asunder; weary feet bare and burnt on the he parched land. Blistered lips and scorched tonsure. Concentrated brightness blinding broken eyes where tears cannot fall to quench the dried thankless loveless land.

Some vultures gather on the thermals and the student unpack sandwiches, crisps and thoughtless chomping; words spread between crunch and spittle; that damp remnant of potato.

Hey guys you should check out Low. The death of Ziggy and the last Hero. It always happens. Nothing can stop this. We must live before we die. We must not wait to die. Don't wait for anything to grab you and place you on a path you always hoped to come along. The path is never knowing and never hoping; without expectation you are never let down.

There are black beans in a can on a lonely shelf back at 69. They cost £1.15 and a little of that disgusting sweat my body produces without my instruction! Truly I love beans more than meat, but meat still occurs. Too often for this omnivorous critter. If I go there now I will not leave. To be on my own there is somewhat thankless. We were not formed to be alone. The universe is with us for all time as far as I can see. How did I distract myself, at eleven, with many tears because there was a feeling of loneliness in me and then again walking home from Ashfield?

Coffee shop jazz is crap. This is a universal truth, but it remains forever played out and ignored.