Tuesday Radio and Television remonstrance
With only one parent remaining I am
losing touch with my hereditary. While she is blankly glued to
another untruthful nostoppable monologue whenever I enter the room she feels a need to regurgitate this unnecessary
diversion for my sanity. Then she chokes and I laugh because there is no stopping her TV
dinner breath death. At a splutter of tension feeding back into what is
already over I restrain against her forced process. This is not you
and you just morphed in my father. Unreal to watch two parents vanish
into transfixed hell brain sucked out of their noses while they fail
to register me. Conversation? What is that? I never knew conversation
which wasn't three way between television, you and I. What do we know
of each other really? The truth I am finding is very lonely. Oh
mother you are returning to the creator blind to the realities I so
need to spread. Backwards I fly and arrive to spare you the need to
maintain the false triumvirate.
...
And
...
The radio, which I hear all day at
work, creates tension in me which I want to fight or defeat through
negations, as negotiation is impossible between those I hope will one
day see and I who feel already see. Insanely it pours serially and
repetitively daily, episodically, hourly, half hourly or in three radio
mix/edit minutes and down to the banal fascination it has for tamper-proof music to defeat my struggle and deafen any self
conscious reason. It is insane and there is no actual escape
without interposing another lesser prison on my helpless ears. The dust that falls all around the filthy place is imprisoning my lungs while my mind seeks another release or gate out of this mutually decided fate. Is the human race so unconsciously sick?
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