Sunday, 23rd August, 2025.

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I'm reflecting on yesterday. The world was at its most chaotic in the centre of Leeds, filled with what I saw as zombies and an egotistical protest. I walked through it, a wanderer among the crowds, but felt no part of it. I was a person completely on the outside, and it reinforced the feeling that my true essence isn't on display in this country.

​The chaos of the day led me back to my own long-standing questions about my family and their lack of understanding. I saw their constant projecting and judgement, and for the first time, I didn't blame myself. I saw them for what they are—incomplete people, trapped in a reality of their own making.

​This realisation was a powerful turning point. It allowed me to see that my own desperate search for validation was a kind of hysteria, the Ego screaming for approval. But in that moment, I found a profound truth: I am valid in myself. I am not afraid of my self. My worth isn't found in what they think or what the world says.

​I saw the monastery within me. I am a community of one, and my peace does not depend on anyone else. My journey isn't a frantic search but a quiet pilgrimage back to a truth I already hold. I know now that my path is different, and I must physically subtract myself from Wetherby to find a life that aligns with who I truly am.

​Only good can come from this. I know this already. I just needed to recognise it again.

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