July 16th, 2025 – Morning Reflection

The morning is here, and soon I'll head out for my walk through Wetherby, just as I do most days. Lola will be arriving at Mum's shortly, and I always look forward to seeing her spirit.

But with the walk comes a certain predictability, a guaranteed set of familiar faces, and interactions that often feel far from peaceful. My patience is truly tested by a couple of individuals, particularly Andy. He blows so hot and cold – one day utterly ignoring me, the next trying to engage, yet with no real interest or understanding.

Just the other day, I was reading, trying to find that quiet space of peace, a clear "do not disturb" sign. But even then, he'd ask what I was reading, seemingly without truly listening or grasping that for me, reading isn't just about words on a page; it's a sanctuary. He doesn't understand books, and I confess, I sometimes perceive a real narcissism in those one-sided exchanges. It's draining, frankly, and deeply tiring. I want peace here in Wetherby, but it often feels utterly beyond my grasp.

There's this internal conflict, this questioning: Why even go out if I know these unpeaceful interactions are guaranteed? But then, there's that stronger pull: I want to see the world. I want to be present, to witness reality as it unfolds, even the challenging bits. So, I guess, in a way, I am telling myself to just be present amidst it all.

It's a constant practice, trying to comprehend everything through the lens of ACIM, to see misperceptions and remember that external thoughts don't define fact. But it’s hard when untruths are spoken as facts, and forgiveness feels incredibly difficult to practice when faced with behaviours that try me so. Yet, I walk. I observe. And I try to just be.