The path to the deathless

It must be forever. It has to be eternal. Life can know no death. Death is a force employed by the Ego. Everyday it has to be always. I can't be half way through the door. A threshold is purgatory and I belong only in paradise. It is The Matter and all illusion will vanish once it has been acknowledged totally for the reality it is. Every other way is a means of the Ego to kill me. I never was born only to look for death with such urgency. It's a long road, but it is all inside. It could never be found outside: no distraction from this purpose could help at all. Why do I need the escape? Well I don't. It's another illusion.

But there an answer, yet it is so deep within that it can be so difficult seeing it - through a glass, darkly.

Whenever I do miss this answer it isn't entirely is my fault for I know there are two voices at work. Yet I can never be guilty of anything, I have mis-perceived, in me again.

It is an all or nothing change. I am on the threshold of another reality and I must step out of the shadow of safety.

From tomorrow another sail requires unfurling. This one has been bravely rebuilt in time and for eternity.

How the powerful wind of change, blowing inside my mind, was to be captured had eluded me so far. But it took me 41 years to truly see the route was in the doldrums and could never deliver me to a promised place: perhaps I was looking all along at the rudder when it was only the stars which could guide me home.

Back to England for a day, then a weekend away with an old friend and the final week of NHS and whither after? Nowhere but within to capture the eternal.