Hitching and ditching.

Hesitating no more I decided to hitch back to Wetherby West Yorkshire. Crossed the Esk and stood outside the Spar. Five minutes later - flashing my hastily drawn sign to York - David reverses at tells me he can take me as far as Pickering. We discuss my flight into and out of insanity. Walking and getting to grips with depression, Asperger's and ADHD (post traumatic stress disorder, dissociate disorder, etc). But in Pickering people are no neck nercs, and they squint at me as if I were the son. No I am not the Messiah!

Not another commercial radio station! Why are you so thoughtless and insane with your mad chatter? With your cheesy, pointless adverts telling locals how to get stuff locally - D'oh - they don't need any of it because all business is the same business - the spring step of the devil! I hate thee radio!

It is such a sinister whisper in the ear forever forcing a singular dimension onto the spaciously infinite. Music doesn't need a marble fireplace to glorify it - it requires purity. Cher asking if it is possible to turn back time. The radio turns back the clock every moment that one switches on the dial. Forget the past it is passé!

Sandwich and coffee. Russells' bakery and cafe. Enough. Out side! Fuck Radio York threatening my un-sanity. The woman with the hyper voice ranting about some effect of her own cause; she's convinced it's all the other way round! Each action has equal and opposite reaction; in the entire universe; you've an anger that is entirely eating up your purpose.

Christ isn't Jesus Aich. That is a false interpretation. Christ is within us all! Although Jesus understood this wonderful Truth, and attempted to preach it, I don't think he could distance himself enough? All the  metaphysical examples we now have to draw against can help us understand what is essentially a personal scope.

I assume his knowledge of existentialism was essentially Jewish, unless he knew of the teachings of the Eastern philosophers as well as those from the Hellenic world, but he was still a "rabbi" so it would probably be impossible to divorce his cultural milieu from the profound Truth which is beyond cause and effect.

The Truth exists beyond teaching and being told doesn't provide the personal required revelation. Not to be told is hardly fair I suppose, but it just happens when you least expect it; the road inward, the road home, is each a part of our independent universe.

In some ways he tried to bridge the gap through his the own existence, but it is not possible to reform another persons life. Only 'I' can see that miracle occur: spontaneously, independently, infinitely. For each of us it is a personal journey and a revelation.

An unhealed healer cannot teach healing and I think Jesus discovered the elixir of redemption while in the wilderness. Perhaps at the very end he gave his life because that action spoke where words could only be misinterpreted?

No time the chose this day's divinity. Back on the 840 towards York. With a cluster of teens who disgrace themselves complaining about everyone, conspiratorially, that isn't present on the bus. Will. You. Please. Be. Quiet. 'Sblood. The worst face you can show is the one I see now!