A rebel without a clue.

Between porcelain cups and plastic leaves, The muzak hums it's hollow tune. Octogenarians dissolve like sugar in their weak teas — edges blurred, their moments thin. But an insect’s bite: the only truth that stings, draws And Come Together plays, but no one blinks. The mansion stands, a stage set for the fading While pilgrims walk its edges, Restless, unassuaged. I measure a life in coffee spoons, yet still the void awaits Beckoning. A silent witness at every table, nibbling crusts of another time, As I recoil in panic.

**Consciousness is the fundamental, unified reality** * Consciousness is infinite, timeless, and omniscient * Space, time, and matter emerge from consciousness * Gravity, energy, and spirit are different expressions of consciousness **Key points:** * Consciousness transcends physical boundaries * Reality is non-dual (not separate from observer) * Time is an illusion; past, present, future are concurrent *** **C = ∞Ωτ** Breaking it down again: * **C** = Consciousness * **∞** = Infinity (no bounds in space or time) * **Ω** = Omniscience (complete knowledge of all existence) * **τ** = Timelessness (beyond past, present, future) This simple yet profound equation represents **"The Unity Theory"** ***

I have to resuscitate a dying sense of spirit and enthusiasm into my present as I have become detached from the real joys of my life. No reading, no writing; no contemplation. Even now I am tempted to throw down the device and forget it, but why - because it's a dead end... Surely I can stay here a little longer until something infinite moves within and without? *** As I sit on Ruby's sofa/bed and listen to the sounds of spring, with the gentle murmuring of the pond at the bottom of the garden and the distant hum of the A1(M) I am aware of the distance growing between what I truly love and what I am become; in despair. Oh the alcohol fuelled me. The forgetful me. The desperately lonely me. The one I've cordoned off for the world to see. Ruby is happy with me, Lola is happy with me but I am unhappy with me simple as I am - Mother Nature's son: tranquil and unimpeded by mental noise... Knowing the truth will set me free, but being forever unable to accept it entirely. It...

Another sunrise, but shining through crystal clear windows. The people working on the exterior of the building cleaned up after themselves, but with smears left behind in their rush, so, finally, I made it clear, outside and in, using elbow grease for an hour or so, before cleaning the rooms for the first time since spring - lacking sorely in motivation. Friday afternoon I returned to the flat, but couldn't stop myself going into town - the sun was high in the sky and my flat faces east and by noon I only see lengthening shadows; although it is perfect for the sunrise as we reach back towards the equinox. There is a sign on building sites which states that they are considerate construction workers... Whoever considers reversing signalling noise OK at 6am on Sunday must live in a very inconsiderate world; which is destinctly true! But I intend to go walking today: although there is something blocking any motivation for it. Once I would positively fly out of Leeds, via Shadwell, etc,...

As el Camino calls me once more it is time to draw a line under the daily journal I've been keeping for Abby, Occupational Health Therapist, who says I may desist anyway and return to The Way, but, in typical fashion, I've begun Day-One the same way as all my others since I first discovered Podcasts and  In Our Time . Coffee. Podcast. Listening to nature awake. Crows and pigeons. And the distant hum of the A1(M): Wetherby. There could be a worse way to awaken and depart? Monday morning and I know where I am staying for the next three nights: Behind Sacré-Coeur (15€ @ L’hôtellerie de la Basilique), Relais Saint Jacques(Donativo) in Le Puy and, then on Wednesday, in a communal tent on the campsite in Monistrol-d’Allier (16€ Camping le Vivier). After that I have to pray meaningfully as I have chosen a period of holidays in France to shoot across La Manche. They have Liberation Day and Ascension Day on Wednesday and Thursday so everyone and his dog will take a bridging day on Frida...