Tuesday 3rd January, evening.

This is it! This is the final year. It is not the end only the conclusion of a chapter. A willingness to turn over the page without returning to the first leaf to repeat the tale over read.

If I don't take my self out of the mire now I will be only sinking further and deeper into a being I did not ever dream I'd willingly be.

It has been such a long wasted waiting, pondering any sudden movement which might be a bad mistake, but staying still is most definitely a greater error as I will flounder with nothing to show for anything.

Something really scared me and stopped me dead in my tracks. As I look behind and up ahead, jogging on the spot, all my life drains out and that is such an incredible loss.

My hair recedes, my teeth fall out, my right knee creeks, my left foot aches and tinnitus swirls between my ears, but do these body expressions matter at all while my mind is open and alert?