Sunday morning, 2nd January 2022.

Day four in the Big Mother household. Already we conflicted. Late last night Lola wanted a bit of play time: she ran off with an insole and I went to battle for the retrieval and showered her with all the love I have. Within minutes mother was 'grinding' her teeth.

On new years eve I had a couple of glasses of wine with my dinner, yesterday none and today I really feel will manage at least a week of Dry January, even while locked in 42 from sun up to sunset.

***

Reading through the current instructions about self isolating, after a positive COVID test, I got to the final paragraph which told me explicitly to do all I can to adhere to the rules as long as they don't play havoc with my carefully balanced mental health.

The pandemic has definitely put a few more spanners in the works. During the winter of 2019 I definitely felt I was heading in the right direction mentally and physically to 'get over', or to move on, from the large grey, cliff like, blockage stuck in my prefrontal cortex for many many years.

You never know what challenges are up ahead, so it's really better nor to hope? Or is that all humans can ever do? So little of existence is controllable.

These are the set of advice I'd previously had from my GP during the lockdown phases, and when told to isolate, and when I returned from various stop/start 'Camino-like' walks I undertook before widespread vaccination.

Between the spring of 2020 and returning from walking in December 2020 (Litoral Way from Lisbon to Figuera de Foz) I returned to self isolation as I saw fit - zero interaction with anyone (which is normal for me anyway).

Since vaccination the situation has been different with PCR testing, etc, and cost a great deal more than I can afford, to walk long distances anywhere.

***

Saturday was a sunny and, bizarrely, warm (17°C) January so I decided I needed to be out in it,  however briefly, and not just walk Lola around the edges of Wetherby during the twilit bookends of the day.

Walking up York Road, on to York Road Industrial Estate, then up Audby Lane, through Law Close - with its large central field - down the bottom of Templar Gardens, briefly onto Deighton Road before heading to the roundabout on the A168 and back towards my mum's - cutting through where Sandbeck Vets is - I saw no one close by.

Lola, being a nosy pup, loves walking around housing estate - when I give her the option, but it's a very simplistic meander. This is better than nothing for my mental health. Especially with the sun shining and drying out the waterlogged and greasy byways.

***

Sunday morning.