The start of a new year...

7am day two of 2025. Another day in Wetherby. Three days and two nights - including two days dog sitting Lola, but back to Leeds this evening and then what?

Please I can't keep yo-yoing like I have for the past ten years. It's not enough. Wetherby is so minor and conservative in the scheme of things. It's a place creatures older than dinosaurs go to die.

6:15am day three of 2025. The Krackon awakes next door... I mean her not him: her voice carries like Adrian's never has! Lola is by my side. I stayed overnight as mum wants to go to Harrogate this morning to return a pair of pointless shoes and they're they're not winklepickers...

Two days of walking as far as I felt capable around Wetherby. Two hours each time. The wet weather has gone and now we're in the grip of winter. I want to get away... No Lola by my side as she recovers the operation.

***

Went to Hebden Bridge this weekend and walked to Hardcastle Crags on Saturday. On Sunday I had an adventure in the snow and sleet getting back to Leeds from Hebden Bridge. The train I caught went nearly to Sowerby Bridge, and no further than Mytholmroyd an hour later so I hitched on the main street to Halifax. I walked across Halifax passed the train and bus stations, where there was no activity, so I walked along the A58 out of Halifax and towards Leeds. I was trying to hitch along the slushy edge and finally got a lift forward with a policeman going to the end of his 'beat'. I then walked into Bradford from Odsal Top and waited around Bradford for either the trains or buses to start moving once more from Foster Square and then I arrived in Leeds at 1500 having set off at 8am. I was pretty happy from the experience.

I think I have had a drink of something every day since January. The two weeks of Christmas I was mainly sober. And yesterday was Epiphany and I haven't woken up? Perhaps I have and I still feel nothing - I wonder if it Amitriptyline which seems to make me feel zilch. 

Imagine Sisyphus happy! It takes time to change, but I am going to change? I've not had a hangover since Saturday morning (and it wasn't a bad one as I enjoyed the walk up to Hardcastle Craggs) but I keep drinking and drifting around Boar Lane which is a dead end to nothingness?

***

People are stirring on the street: our next door neighbour climbs into his car and slams the door. Otherwise it's silent at 6:40am. Last night I slept on the floor, on the sofa cushions, in the front room: it gave me a break from Leeds - the first time I have been away from alcohol since Friday... It's far easier to not quaff in Wetherby as it's a one horse town.

***

It's really cold this morning. My fingerless mitts weren't enough for our 25 minute walk. Lola is finding the icy conditions difficult on her tender foot, but she's getting stronger. Soon I will be taking her over the bridge to Mickletwaithe or up to Ashdale Lane for a good hour.

Mum's off to get some tiles for the porch with Emma around noon. I've come out for an hour as mum is glued to the TV. I will go for a walk tomorrow... As far as the foot allows.

Monday I've an eye appointment at Saint James's so I need to be healthy. It's been a real challenge in 2025 not to drink as the allotment is a no go area, Lola is on the mend but not 100% and I have walked into a brick wall as far as walking was going in Hebden Bridge.

***

Lola and I had a good hour, with six breaks, around town via Raby Park, Westgate, The Market Place, The High Street, North Street and York Road. I've just had lunch and so has Lola as she had a small breakfast and has been on the go since she decided she needed the loo at 4am. Having a cup of tea while Emma and mum are buying some tiles for the porch. Chilled out Saturday...

... The pooch was happy yesterday and ran around almost screaming into the house, out of the house and into Emma's car ...

But I am not being me once more... I have left the path and am sat in one of the dead ends, which I thought had vanished back along that route, staring at nothing up ahead. This must stop. I don't want the past and only want the Truth which will set me free, but I have a hospital appointment on Monday and a foot operation to come at the of end January... A couple of days ago I really felt nothing for all that was around me.

***

Caught the bus to Grassington - actually I got off at Threshfield as there is a large Spar and it is not in Grassington... Then walked along Lady Anne's Way towards Bolton Abbey. My midway point was in extreme agony, and so too was the end, as I reached the bus stop just after the time of the bus had passed, but the Sunday roast was excellent and so too were the two wooded OP pints. Luckily the bus was slightly late - the roads are still difficult to pass - so I flagged the bus down as I hobbled towards the next pub where I supposed a taxi or hitching was in order (people don't often pick me up in the dark though?!) I covered 13 miles with two incidents of total agony.

Listening to the Ramblers behind me I realised why I don't like them at all! They sound like their lycra clad cousins, the CC twats, who go everywhere deep in trivial conversations polluting the atmosphere with their no stop colloquialisms, banter, running commentary and clothing comparisons. In the end I moved forward from the no stop waffling - there is nothing to see here. They went to admire the view as I went to get lost in the world and lose my head.

***

Monday morning and the change needs to start now, but it's up to me. Laynes for a batch brew like a battery hen. There is so much more to life than Leeds. I know this. But it t requires me walking away from all I have known for so many years. There is nothing here anymore for me. Perhaps tomorrow I will get away?