work life balance sheet 1

Made coffee, listened to a podcast, ran a bath, did a woollen wash, walked the long way to catch the bus, via Sainsbury's for two bananas and a bottle of kefir (need it after the beer in Meanwood Friday afternoon), sat on the X99 and read a chapter of Nomad Century ... Walking to mum's to take merry legs for a walk. Chilling out with her today? Allotment tomorrow if the storm blows passed by then?

Nice walk along the riverside with a very excited Lola: sand! She was spinning and nipping my wrists - signs she's super happy. Tried to unwind next to her after elevensies, but at the moment we can't switch off next to one another - she prefers to chill on her own on the sofa or armchair now anyway (bless)!

Allotment this afternoon. Just walked into town to see Jason for a couple of beers. Too many yesterday so only two. Not seen Jason since November. Had a coffee at the cinema (Darkwoods) with a biscotti.

A couple became 3. Jason hurried off his final one to meet Katherine in Morrison's so I was left high and dry once more as Jason receded. He's off to San Francisco in July... Bon Voyage? So I wandered home. Two halves and a large fish and mushy peas. Then I shared it with Lola before Emma collected merry legs. And mother went out to the Jazz night so I watched the film Abbie had recommended, The Banshees of Inisherin, which was an interesting, and had such beautiful cinematography that I instantly wanted to visit Mayo, kept me entertained. Perhaps I do like a well-made film after all... Just not crappy Hollywood.

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Awake. Dressed. Toilet. Coffee. 5am. Podcast - what is normal (where did the concept come from)? Ideas about 5th February. Another Camino? Grenoble was where Glenn and I were going for my birthday 'old boys outing' but he's got other 'plans'... A 60th birthday and a gig... The things which are more important? Does he priorities those things because he doesn't get enough out of our relationship? I don't know. Yesterday's podcast was on the subject of Panpsychism introduced by Matthew Sweet. I've drifted away from Crowd Science and In Our Time to Radio 3s Free Thinking ...

My purpose? It's to observe? To watch and think and, perhaps, learn?

Joy, happiness or contentedness.***

Ten minutes of peace in Caffé Nero then Andy popped his head into the café. He drinks across the road at BAE, but he's drawn to me like a fly to shit. I told him I'd watched The Banshees of Inisherin which he'd seen at Wetherby Cinema. I was waiting for him to say something worthwhile about the film. I think I'll be waiting a long time? He keeps talking about someone whose mother has died. Some one I've never  heard of ... Having a way too expensive decaffeinated oat latte. He saw Tony across the street. And there is someone sat in the doorway begging next to the café. The X98 is parked up outside what used to be the Barclays Bank, but is about to become a bistro attached to BAE...

The bus back to Leeds at 9am delivered me to the Mill Hill Chapel in the City Square for 10am. And Joe, the articulate minister, who gave me such a feeling of welcome - even though I'd not stepped over the threshold in numerous Sundays for years (whether by design or consequence) - made me happy to listen as he spoke of a 'listing' wind as leaning towards, to listen and wisdom as a feminine characteristic in the bible.

***

The new me is awake by 5am. It's not the actual time because the actual time in 'now'. The subjective time was 5am so now I am about to run a bath at 6am. So that I can begin Monday morning red not blue!

But I couldn't run a bath because the boiler was displaying an error message E1. So I had a cold wash, dressed and went to catch the 7am bus from Cross Stamford Street. The weather was blustery and showery then 

Second walk with Lola today. We got soaked and cold this morning. The rain was more on and off this afternoon, but there is further rain coming down from the storm as it flows west: the Wharfe is flooding again. And Lola found a loaf of bread... And my left nostril is throwing up a lot of snot again. Just like prior to the walk in Portugal!

***

And so it begins. Second term in at WHS and Finley is being bullied. It's part of the whopper of the problem in that school. I suffered with the problem, until we emigrated to Australia in 1986, I saw it again when I returned to WHS to complete my A Levels and I saw it worsen in 2009/10 when I supported Byron in as a trainee teaching assistant. It breaks you if that's the sort of person you are. It's easy to tell Finley that of the two people giving you a hard time it's only the leader you need confront, as every bully is backed up by a gross coward or someone who can fight their wars for them but has no personality of their own. History could repeat it's self. I hated my time there and dropped down the scale towards average as a result... Simon Kirkham backed up by David Wightman or Martin Geary, depending on which class they were in together. Simon was a gross bully.

Mum's taken Lola back as I've been out twice, and she wants to put her five pence into the equation... She went to school in the 1940/50s so she really knows what a modern 21st century Comprehensive State School is like?

***

Finley lied. It wasn't two boys at all. But I guess he was building up to it. He tried to hit someone and missed, they kicked back...

***

Allotment this morning. It got too torrential for the Páramo to withstand. It needs replacing. Truly it's worn out. Sending it to have the zip replaced is pointless as it's worn out. Although I have alternatives to it I tend to drift towards is as the option...

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Listening to another podcast, wednesday morning, and I simply don't understand what they're discussing. Philosophy and Martin Heidegger Being and Time. Having tried to read the introduction to Being and Nothingness and failing, I fail at the way Heidegger's philosophy is described in terms which seem not to say anything ... Is there a Heidegger for idiots? Am I an idiot. Certainly I often feel like one. My brain fights to understand what is being said, but leaves without any impression made on it?

***

Back on the X99. Left Wetherby on the X98 yesterday at 10:30am and on the X99 at 7am on Monday morning. Back on the X99 at 7am Wednesday morning... Banality. There has to be more to life?