Into 2024 and beyond

That feels like the end of Christmas for me. Andy Stoney didn't have his Christmas jumpers on... And he didn't acknowledge me.

Lola to my right and Archie too my left... The fire on. A warm bath... Peace. Peaceful. I won't be long going to Lalaland... 29th December. Can you be more loved? 

***

Good night's sleep, minor issue in that Lola fell out of the bed... That's never happened before. She must've been in a dream running away and wriggled to the border land of Mattress and Space? Today I want another peaceful day. I have it inside, but it struggles to get heard amongst the frenetic pace of Christmas; where everything is noisy, busy, extremely bad for my sanity - although it's in me to forgive.

***

Andy had his Christmas jumper on again yesterday. I saw him across the street after I'd been shopping for New Year's Eve supper... Great food. Laurel and Hardy. Easy... I heard no fireworks. Lola went out around 2 and around 4 and around 6. Probably all wee-wee until after breakfast. Now I linger over a coffee. The fire flickers to my right. Glenn is asleep.

***

Thursday morn. 4th January. Another day begins. Another journey to Wetherby. Another day to try to be happy and not sad. Yes I am going to Portugal on Saturday and yes that promises sunshine aka vitamin D. And less of the deluge of Autumn which is carrying on without any sign of winter's cold embrace. I should be happy. But I want to find something here that anchors me in happiness. Like those barges I saw lined up along the Calder Navigation Canal when I walked into Hebden Bridge from Mytholmoyd silently letting off smoke from their tin chimney pipes...

***

Saturday morning. A good night's sleep. No alcohol. Wasn't hungover on Friday morning as I caught the X98 on Boar Lane. And had a nice walk up to Shaw Barn Lane and Wentworth Gate with Lola. It was very still for a change. All the birds were in song: which they probably were in the winds, but the other noise out competed them for my attention?

Portugal this afternoon. I've a book to collect from the Royal Mail Sorting Office on North Street: a book sent by an acquaintance from Padstow back in 2010...

***

It's probably not a book I needed. But I understand why I was sent it. It's a way forward. Ironically the first topic I turned randomly to was Grace. And I've been thinking about Grace a lot... The Spirit being in a state of Grace. That peace at my core.

***

Rudy's for a Margherita. And a beer. Just bought new socks. Liners and hiking. Trying to increase the cushioning on my feet... Testing both insoles together as I feel singularly that aren't high enough. Do insoles deteriorate over time?

***

Why do I feel like crying my heart out all the time? Like I am purging myself of something...

... If the path is the destination why am I flying to Faro to go searching for it? If I am on the correct path it with lead me home? Back to where I once was and where I should be. Now is the destination. The present.

***

Checked into room two and bed two? Gosh. It's my number... Is that lucky or a tragedy. Has my life been lucky? Perhaps. Hostel Tilia.

***

And is it really only a week since I returned Archie to the loving arms of his family? Wow. This week seems so long... What's happening to me to make it feel so dense in time? I can't work it out! Bed might help me. Transit doesn't get me to paradise.