journal entry ending 31st November.

The sun is shining high in the sky, leaving me shortly to go to the other side of the block of flats. It was a big orange disk of a sunrise be behind the tower block which faces me in Mabgate: and I don't know which block it is, but it sits solo alongside York Road.

Yesterday, after the guy from Mears fitted the Cooker, I went to the Light for my GP appointment to see yet another GP who knows nothing about my 'real' history and expected me to begin the 'pointless' process of accessing mental health counseling again. He was worried I spend so much time on my own... But I like this! I am not someone comfortable around crowds or clusters of people. I am good one-2-one isn't that good enough?

Taking myself to Tharavadu for their brilliant lunch express veggie option I was in a very negative mood. The GP had upped my Venlafaxine dosage and indicated the website which has come along to replace IAPT(shite)... Leeds Mental Well-being Service?

Mum made lasagna last night so I sat and waited for it while watching the next episode of Frozen Planet 2 and the Tundra and frozen forest. Always stunning and the challenges nature must constantly under go to keep ticking and then we're very unhelpful in our thoughtless destruction of the world...

...a cooker! At last. Two weeks paying for eating out when I didn't want to. Microwaves just don't give food the flavour of a hob or a conventional oven. Currently I am bringing some runner beans up to pressure to eat a little later: Andy at the allotment gave me plenty of his overgrown ones which he is using as seed for next season. They're a speciality of Austria where they are eaten with Pumpkin seed oil, which I have in the pantry cupboard.

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99% of me was saying don't go to Madrid, but by this morning the 1% is becoming the louder voice as I can't see a clear 'way' in the UK like I often can, and do, in Europe and I don't have to actually decide until tomorrow afternoon whether to head over to Manchester Airport or not.

For the past few days I have been enjoying being on the allotment, but it would still be there for me to carry on once I returned from the two weeks of soul seeking?

It's dull and dank outside. Andy said it's winter yesterday, but I thought it was still autumn. Once the frost becomes ubiquitous then winter has put in it's presence. It's almost time to dig out the Korean War trench coat with its woollen lining and high collars against the northern winds.