Morning thoughts...

Avoid Leeds like there is a plague in town... There is though. It's the human vermin who litter the streets: those sleeping in doorways and those clinging to shop entrances. What happened to humanity to bring it down to a level below animal? Greggs? Quite possibly.

The bus was a little late and I am currently the only soul on it as we turn onto Eastgate... Then everyone got on. I walk to the departure point on Boar Lane as it is a fair distance from my flat. The one on Eastgate is closer and the one on Roseville Road is much closer, but I prefer to go furthest. When the bus departed from Infirmary Street that was ideal as it isn't where the 'lice' of Leeds generally cluster: I didn't see those who are just clinging to life.

***

I can see that I am firmly in the midst of another depression. How is it possible to keep going lower? Perhaps it's not another low low, but a return to the normal low I experienced over the past 10 years? Like in the film Awakenings the lifting of my mood is temporary: my normal mode is abysmally sad?

Thoughts of suicide, which have not surfaced much since the COVID pandemic, are there again for me to negotiate...

Last night I was bolt upright awake at midnight and clinged to insomnia until at least 2...

In my head I was still going over the issues with the allotment and added to it is the attitude of the man who runs Bottle and Bean, Andy Levine, who hasn't a nice thing to say to me... And I really don't know why? Jason, who was with me briefly, also can't understand his abhorrence towards me.

Then I bumbed into Nick, thankfully, at the Brewery until Chris, his gf and his children descended on a busy yard and I simply had to flee back to my mum's and Milly, a dog who is so insignificant as to be pointless... Toy breed! A pretend dog.

***

Yesterday morning I considered walking towards Leeds, but, after ooking at the allotment yesterday with the fecundity of 'weeds' I think I will spend a considerable time there today instead and maybe stay at my mum's this evening to have a quiet one away from Leeds and wankers in Wetherby...