Itchy and scratchy

No alcohol in my bloodstream. I had the insect itch last night - which might've been a consequence of working in mud most of the day... A quick flannel wash sent me to sleep surrounded by the pulsating of the heating, always on to keep mother warm next to the radiator, and the voices, music and general electrical energy pouring out of her TV screen from dawn until late. The end of my life will not be so final...

Donc translates into 'so' from the French, an 'um' word, one which is like a pause, ('actually' being a current expression said too often). The German language has one would which is said pointlessly too, but I forgot it currently - it's just on the tip of my tongue (anyway)!